Critical Conversations: Building Strong Relationships
Mastering the conversations in your life
by Krisjana Turner
What is a critical conversation? A critical conversation is a conversation that has the capacity to change your life. These conversations can be tough and are usually the ones you don't want to have. You know the ones...budget conversations with your husband...the birds and the bees with your budding teenager...or even that tough conversation with THAT client.
I can relate! I don't like having these conversations at all, but I have found out that 9 times out of 10 they are less scarier than we make them out to be.
In a world where 90 second social media clips determine the opinions and actions of so many, there is little room to have conversation with the courageous thumbs community. Thats right I said it. Courageous thumbs are taking over the ability to sit long enough to have a conversation that potentially could be life changing!
I am sounding the alarm on bring back conversations! Here are 3 very important conversations you need to incorporate into your life:
Conversations With God
This is a no brainer! The more conversations you have with God, the more prepared you will be for your purpose...and for when Julia comes to your office desk with the foolishness.
Many times our conversation with God usually surround the things that we need in life. I want to encourage you to have the tough conversation of "God, what do I need to change in my life today.? God what can I do to make you happy?" Conversation after all is about having relationship!
Conversations With Yourself
Raise your hand if you talk to yourself? Life is more exciting when you do! I promise. Just try not to do it so loudly...in front of a lot of people...sometimes.
Conversations with your self is about facing the your reality. The reality of achieving your goals, the reality of your health, your business, your finances, you walk with God.
One of the toughest realities I have had to face was about my health and my finances. Am I being a good steward? Is there a way to make better health choices?
The answer was yes. I could and I have to have this conversation with myself consistently to keep moving in the right directions.
That's the message...people lol! People are a lot and can bring a lot of good and bad challenges. Still...how much sweeter is life when you have amazing relationships?
Critical conversations with spouses, office team members, employees, and church folk can be difficult. There are so many things to consider in these conversation because of the love we have for these individuals.
These conversation are some of the most important ones you can have. They effect you and the other person in the conversation.
I have made many mistakes during these conversations. Becoming too passionate, speaking before I think about what I want to say are just a few things I have erred when having critical conversations.
Check out my t to tips to building stronger relationships in tough conversations.
Tip #1 - Tone
This is a big one for me fam. I am black woman who grew up in a West Indian family. Is there any other way to speak but passionately?
There is and we all need to learn to be mindful of our tone when we are desperately trying to get our point across.
In His majestic wisdom, God has given me a husband who shuts down...like all the way down if I get too passionate (aka start yelling). Like all the way down.
That defeats the point of having the conversation in the first place!
Learn to be aware of your tone.
Tip #2 - Be Curious + Ask Questions
The skill will make you look like genius! It also shows that you are being an active listener! Asking the right questions will also clarify heated spots in the conversation and make sure that all parties understand the outcome of the conversation.
Conversation is about gaining understand and can be used as a tool to solve problems. Getting your point across does not mean that the other person in the conversation all of a sudden believes the same way you do. This should not be the goal of a critical conversations.
Critical conversations are about understanding the other person better. Its about solving problems and building healthy relationships.
"In a world where 90 second social media clips determine the opinions and actions of so many, there is little room to have conversation
Tip #3 - Don't Become Offended
I will admit, this was me in the past. How many of you have said "I know they not talking about me!"
How many of us have been ready to throw away the conversation in an effort to defend our action.
Being easily offended means that there is a wound or an area of neglect that needs to be addressed.
Being offended easily also means that you are not hearing what the other person is trying to communicate.